Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
