Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
