butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
