...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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