Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think weed is turning my hair brown
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
