Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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