Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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