But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
