I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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