It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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