he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
