Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
