I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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