So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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