Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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