So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
