i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
