i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
