Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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