well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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