your thong is hanging out like whoa
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.