your thong is hanging out like whoa
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend