im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on