Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.