you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.