I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
