Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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