Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
