But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
