its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
