well you can't waste a boner
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
