I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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