Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
