why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize