It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
