the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
