just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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