So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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