i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
