One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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