the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize