So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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