I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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