Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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