it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize