Your tits are I can't wait for
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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