i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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