Non-Jews are for practice
I'm jealous of your bromance
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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