So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
