Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
