No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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