If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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