It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
