Your mouth is God's brothel.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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