11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
