shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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