I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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