i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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