it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
