they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
