were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
