I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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